Jail Journal

Jail Diary of BP Koirala

• March 15, 1968:

  Interview with TP, Rosa and Girija. Shailaja had also came to the gate. She was too overwhelmed with emotion to exchange greetings with me. Girija said that his work for bringing about a rapprochement between me and the King was progressing satisfactorily. He said that a meeting between us would be arranged soon. He had gone to Calcutta to meet Subarnaji (Subarna Shamsher) also, and he too had blessed the move of compromise by Girija and SP. Subarnaji is not in good health. Three elements in Nepal's politics are opposing this compromise move - (1) individuals like Tanka Prasad, Tulsi Giri etc; (2) Rashtriya Panchayat Parishad people who have developed vested interest in the present system; and (3) understandably, the Communists. Girija would meet me again when the King returns from the tour on l4th of the current Nepali month, that is, 12 days hence. Girija is very confident.



• March 27, 1968:

  Read in today's paper with horror that Sushama (Sushama Koirala, wife of GP Koirala) and her sister met with an accident of a very serious nature in Biratnagar as a result of the bursting up of a refrigerator in the school. They are in critical condition with third degree burn all over their bodies. Dr. Amkamo Kumar has gone there to attend to them on being called for assistance by the doctors of Biratnagar.



• April 1, 1968:

  Received TP's two letters giving the details of the tragic accident that fell upon Sushama and Kumud. The details are gruesome. I am very unhappy today. The whole day I could not concentrate on anything; and at times I felt like I was suffocating and sinking. I remember Sushama who has been so full of life and so brave. She has been an adornment of our family. I remember her smiling face. Two months ago when she had come to see me at the jail gate, l told her on that occasion that it appeared that she would not grow old and lose her youth and freshness; would never grow stale. She had smiled. I have already given up all hopes of her recovery, and even if she recovers, she will be woefully deformed, perhaps nothing better than a lump of flesh, which would be a tragedy worse than death. I am not thinking systematically today. The impact of the tragedy is stunning. I will get over it in course of time; but today it appears there is no remedy to such a tragic event; that time too cannot heal it. One thing is certain, a glory has departed; life has become poorer.



• April 2, 1968:

  Sushama's (GP Koirala's wife) death occurred today.



• April 5, 1968:

  I read in today's paper that Sushama expired on Tuesday at 3pm. In his letter to me TP had held out a hope, however slender that she might survive after all, despite doctors' anxiety, because she had rallied and had started taking nourishment and was conscious. The revival turned out to be the last flicker of the light before going out. A glory has departed from my life - from the life of our family. We have become impoverished. She came into our family in 1960 as a bride in a romantic love. At that time I had thought that romantic love, having an element of impulsiveness, would not match for a steady relationship of understanding through stress and strains between her and Girija. How radically mistaken I was. Our family is a happy family because its tribulation, which came thick and fast in the uncertain politics of Nepal in which I and Girija in particular are involved, are shared commonly by all its members and thereby are converted into happiness, blessing and glory. Sushama joined this festival of suffering at once in such a spirit of identification with us as if she were a born member of the family. In jail I had thought that I had lost the capacity of sensitive reaction to tragic events. But today when I learn Sushama is no more I suffer acutely as if a lash of whip has cut into the raw spot my being. I weep alone here in my cell. I am miserable today. I want to believe that there is a soul which is deathless. I want to believe that the death has not touched with decay Sushama's soul.



• April 6, 1968:

  The report of Martin Luther King having been shot dead was broadcast. The Americans have become a nation addicted to violence - violence as an escape from the boredom of affluence and bareness of the ideal of more material progress. Their culture appears to be skin-deep - sensitivity of the nation lies in sensationalism; national spiritual content is lacking in their culture. The conception of their values is statistical; they have nothing to do with the personalities of the individuals except as numerical factors in the compilation of data. They have become dangerously impersonal so much so that human judgment is being replaced by mechanical reactions of computers. Intuition has no place in the thought content of the nation.

  What is terrifying about America is that it has become the ideal of the world by virtue of its material prosperity and its technological prowess. It has become the leader of the world; hence the danger of its example and leadership. Agreeable in contrast are the Chinese who know - at least knew till lately - how to enjoy life to the maximum. America is a geni of the fable that must be constantly put to work lest it should destroy the master.



• May 19, 1968:

  On coming out of the military prison I would like first of all to send out words of greetings to my countrymen, who have remained uppermost in my thought all the time that I was kept incommunicado from them. My greetings to innumerable democratic patriots also - all those who had to undergo severe hardship - some of whom had even to lay down their lives, consequent upon the royal coupe of 1960. I also remember the individual officers and men of the army, my jailor for seven and half years, who in the discharge of their embarrassing duty did not fail to show courtesy and humanity to me, their prisoner.

  My duty henceforth will be to unite and consolidate the democratic forces of the country that have been considerably disrupted and weakened in course of the last seven years and half.